Jokes of the Day

Here Are 3 Short Jokes!!

(1) Chinese Adam & Eve:

If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise, because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.


(2) Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic is when both are pregnant.


(3) A tap on the driver:

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something....

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window....

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, "Please, don't ever do that again.. You scared the daylights out of me."

The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

To which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

A Court Case - Mamak V.S. Juswant Singh

You all have read my blog on an ancient Chinese story called Clever Kam Lor. Now, follow me to a story closer to home in modern times. Let's begin.....

A not so long time ago, there lived a Punjabi in Malaysia. His father called him Juswant Singh because he was the only boy in the family. Juswant Singh was loved by everyone who knew him. He used to frequent the friendly Mamak store for his lunch and ordered his usual roasted whole chicken. Since he was well liked by everyone, he had became a good friend of the Mamak.

One day he visited his friendly Mamak store. On seeing Juswant Singh, the friendly Mamak
yelled, " Juswant, the usual?" " The usual." echoed Juswant.

The meal was served. Juswant enjoyed the roasted chicken and burped. He called for the bill and the bill came. As he reached for his wallet, to his horror and bewilderment the wallet was
not in his pocket. It then dawned upon him that on his way here, a dirty looking chap bumped
into him; that fellow must have picked pocket him.

Juswant Singh explained his predicament to his friendly Mamak. " No problem." exclaimed the friendly Mamak and proceeded to jot down the amount owing into his 'buku tiga lima'( this
is a pocket account booklet keeping outstanding debts).

From then onwards, Juswant Singh never step foot on the Mamak store. Mamak cursed the day Juswant was born. He couldn't believe that the well-liked Juswant would conned him of
RM 20.00. "It is so unbecoming of Juswant ." he thought.

Two years passed by and Juswant Singh dropped by his friendly Mamak store. All his friends enquired of his sudden disappearance. " Oh! I went to India to seek my fortune. I made a couple
of millions in USD," responded Juswant joyfully. Since he missed Mamak's roasted chicken, he ordered double portions. That mouth-watering and piping hot dish was served at the speed of light. Juswant consumed the two roasted chicken in no time and asked for the bill. To his consternation, the bill totalled RM 24,000.00.

The friendly Mamak patiently explained to Juswant that 2 years ago he had eaten a roasted chicken and failed to pay. Juswant retorted, "The meal I had only cost RM 20.00, with compounded interests, it won't cost more that RM 30.00." Mamak answered back, "The roasted chicken you had eaten two years ago, if you have not eaten it, it could have laid hundreds of eggs and hatched into chicks. These hundreds of chicks in turn grow up into mother hens and lay eggs and hatch into chicks. The process goes on and on and on. So RM 24,000.00 is just a conservative figure, it could more. Because of friendship I charge you only RM 24,000.00."

Naturally, Juswant refused to settle such a big amount and Mamak sued him. On the appointed day and time, Juswant came late rushing into the courtroom, apologized profusely to the judge.

The honorable judge asked, " Juswant, 2 years ago you had eaten a roasted chicken from Mamak. So if you have not eaten the roasted chicken, it could have laid eggs and hatched into
chicks and these chicks in turn laid more eggs and hatch into more chicks. What have you got to say."

Juswant answered, "Your Honour, Would you like to know the reason I attend court late?Well,
last season, I roasted some wheat seeds and later sowed the seeds. This morning I harvested the wheat and made into chapati for breakfast."

The judge retorted angrily, "How can roasted wheat seeds grow into wheat?"

Juswant answered meekly, "Mamak's roasted chicken can lay eggs!!!!...

FuN FaCts!!!

here are a few facts to be shared...

DID U KNOW...

• ' RACECAR ' spelled backwards is still ' RACECAR '
• A Lobster's Blood Is BLUE IN COLOUR !!!
• Ants DO NOT SLEEP!!
• STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS !!!

CAN U BELIEVE THOSE FACTS!!!??

There's More Than The Picture Than Meets The Eyes...

Look at the picture below....
Looks like an ordinary picture of an old man & old lady right ??


BUT LOOK CAREFULLY.....
DO YOU SEE A LADY SITTING & A MAN PLAYING A GUITAR & A LITTLE LADY STANDING ??

No??

KEEP ON TRYING...............................

Still can't see it ??

SEE THE PICTURE BELOW...

CAN YOU SEE THE 3 PEOPLE ??

THE ONE CIRCLED IN :

BLUE - LADY SITTING
GREEN - A MAN PLAYING A GUITAR
YELLOW -A LITTLE LADY STANDING

DID NOT NOTICE THEM EARLIER ??


' There's More Than The Picture Than Meets The Eyes... '

MICHAEL JACKSON & FARRAH FAWCETT

The world is dimmer coz we lost two stars that shines brilliantly in this entertainment world of movies & music. Today is a date
written forever in remembrance of 2 very talented stars.

Michael Jackson
1958 - 2009
King of Pop
Popular songs :
Beat It
Billy Jeans


Farrah Fawcett
act in Charlie's Angels
most popular pin-up posters
Their talents appreciated forever...
May God Bless...

Clever Kam Lor - Part 2

( For those who miss Part 1, please click here or scroll down to read Part 1 first..)



The general dragged his feet , walking slowly out of the Imperial Court in deep thoughts. He felt sad, very sad, very very sad. " When the 3-month time frame is up, I will be history. My family will miss me dearly. How can a cockerel lay eggs! Yes, I want to live! Most of all, I want see Kam Lor grow up to be a great general like me. I want to teach him all the military strategies that I know. Ok, I better escape with my family to a small village and change my identity. " he thought.

Instead of riding on his old faithful, he walked with him, " Oh! My White Beauty, we have fought battles together and I am not going to be separated from you just like that. I 'll rather die in a great battle." he whispered to his faithful horse.

Just as he took his last step out of the main gate of the Imperial Court, there was a terrible storm with lightning and thunder and rain pouring down in torrents. It seemed even heaven
also wept for him. It was dreadful! But he was oblivious of the thunder storm, as he took the long walk back home or it seemed long as the journey on horseback usually takes him about five minutes. When he reached home, it was sunset, a 2-hour journey!

He was completely drenched. He cleaned and dressed as a general would. Afterwards he hugged his grandson and his wife tightly but the look on his face betrayed his predicament.His good wife enquired on the outcome of the court proceedings and he related the entire episode to her. She, being virtuous and upright, advised him not to escape but to face the situation like a general.

Days, weeks and months passed by swiftly. It seemed only yesterday. A decision day or rather doom day. They have the last Family Reunion Breakfast together. He discussed the role and duties of the Lord of the House and bequeathed his authority to his eldest son. As the general got ready to face the ultimatum like a general faces an impossible battle, Kam Lor called, " Ah Kong! Ah Kong! Kam Lor will attend Court on your behalf. I ' ll tell the emperor that my Ah Kong is indisposed."

The Imperial Court was called to order by the Royal Adviser. And there on the seat of the great and mighty general sat tiny, little Kam Lor. " Who are you, my little one?" thundered the
emperor. Kam Lor answered bravely but courteously, " May Your Majesty live a million years? I am Kam Lor, the youngest grandson of the great and mighty general at Your Majesty Service."

The emperor demanded, "Why is your grandfather?" Kam Lor answered in a sweet innocent voice, " He is at home recuperating as he has given birth to a baby boy early this morning."
"How dare you tell a lie! How can a man give birth! Only women give birth" the emperor raised his voice. Kam Lor again in his sweet innocent voice answered confidently."A thousand apologies, your servant deserves death. But Your Masjesty, nowadays a man can give birth because cockerel can lay eggs!"

The emperor exclaimed, " Clever! Very clever! My clever Kam Lor, China is blessed to have you.Your Ah Kong has taught you well. Now send your Ah Kong here as I'll bestow him with the highest award for bringing up such a brilliant boy. And you Kam Lor, will serve me as my personal Royal Assistant."


( Never thought of this answer right ? )


" WANT MORE STORIES LIKE THIS ONE??!
WAIT TILL NEXT WEEK! "

THE LIGHTER SIDE =D

Here Are A Few Jokes I Want To Share.


1. There were 3 p0liticians gathered together at a high-class restaurant. They discussed their secrets and promised not to reveal to anyone, not even to their wives.

1st politician: During the tsunami raised fund, I embezzled more than $10 millions for my family.

2nd politician: That is nothing. I mis-appropriated more than $ 2o millions from the earthquake fund for my mistress.

3rd politician: My inner most secret is I am an incorrigible gossip, I cannot keep secrets.



2. There were 3 priests discussing on their private lives:

1st priest: I have known both of you since primary school.
Both of you were sincere and honest. With our
priestly allowance/salary, how can, you my
friend afford a Camry and you, drive a Mercedes
S Class? How do both of you manage that ?

2nd priest: You want to know how I got a Camry? Very
simple. Since we are priests, we believe in God.
So I asked God, " God,the donations for the
monthly expenses for the needy, as a head priest am I entitled to
part of it? If you agree, I' ll draw a BIG circle
and I' ll then stand in the middle of it. Then I' ll
throw all the donations up high into the sky, the
money that falls inside the BIG circle belongs to
me, and those that landed outside the BIG circle
belong to God." That is how I manage to
drive a Camry.

3rd priest: Since God is in Heaven
above, every month I throw the donation money
up into the sky. " God, this is your money, take
it. If you think I deserve it, then return to me."
Every month, God never fails me. He always says
I deserve it. This how I drive a Mercedes S Class.